Recently I avoided a friend!

Recently I avoided a friend. I avoided someone who I consider to be a very close friend. Someone whom I love and cherish and thank for being a part of my life.   

It wasn’t an active, oh shit!, turn tail, run and hide in the toilet, kind of avoidance.   It was a more natural; just let it happen, kind of avoidance.  An, oh my friend is here; I’ll catch her later, and then go about your day, kind of avoidance.  An, “oh, she’s gone and I missed her”, “I’ll catch her next time” kind of avoidance.       

This going with the flow and allowing kind of avoidance is new for me. It stood out.  It stood out as being something different and a very clear and very defined change.  Previously, I would have run straight over, presented myself and announced everything that’s been happening in my life. What changed? When did it change? Why did I now choose to just allow a meeting to fade away, instead,  choosing to go about my day over making an effort to say hello?  Here is someone I love, who I haven’t seen in months and I simply allow that meeting not to happen. Wow.

“Because I don’t feel like justifying my ego”, says my heart.  “Because, I don’t feel like defending myself, inflating myself, explaining myself and justifying reasons for defending myself”.   Up until now, that’s exactly what I would have done.  I would have marched over, said my hello’s, you look greats and then blurted out my life, all the time trying to inflate my ego and in the end I would walk away feeling, well feeling pretty un-amazing.  Instead I simply wanted to be – I wanted to be here, enjoy the activity and simply allow life to happen without explaining, defending or justifying anything.  

Wayne Dyers message in the movie the shift, changed my life.  He speaks of simply allowing life. Of allowing the universe, god or love to live through you.  Of allowing your live to be lived by something greater than yourself and recently I have felt the truth of this message.   When something doesn’t flow, feel right, uplift and energise you, it’s a signal that its out of flow.  A signal to change direction and simply let it be.   When we try to control things, we are going against the flow of the universe; instead we are expending our own energy, swimming upstream against the natural flow of life.     

I am truly grateful to this friend; she has in so many ways changed my life.  She will always be my friend and I hers.  I see now that it this meeting wasn’t avoidance.   Instead, I was allowing her to give me another of her most wondrous gifts.   Understanding and recognition.  Recognition of the shift in myself, recognition of my new understandings and that I am simply allowing our friendship to be whatever it needs to be, and you know what.   That’s ok.